I am feeling better. Still nowhere near 100%...but better.
Honestly, I think one of the things that really helped was to write about how truly down I was feeling. It was good to admit that depression was getting the best of me and just let go of my pride and give into to. It was almost like by admitting to that....it lost some of it's power....it's hold on me. It freed up some energy so I could concentrate on trying to pick up some of the pieces.
So, that is what I am doing now...and while I know I am still very depressed....and I able to function...which I was not before. Good news....right? :o) I think so! I still should probably go see someone...I think that would be good. I should probably set that up next week.
In other news. I have been walking like crazy training for my MS walk, and I think this has helped me tremendously with my depression as well. I am proud of myself on how well I am doing and how well my legs have done. On Friday I went on a 10 mile walk and felt fine afterwards right now I am getting ready to go on a 16 mile walk...and hopefully will feel the same afterwards. *fingers Crossed* To be perfectly honestly, I was worried about whether or not I would be able to complete the walk. Now, I actually have hope and confidence that I will be about to complete it. It's on August 21st - 23rd....so I still have plenty of time to train for it.
Oh, if you want to contribute to my MS walk (thank you so much BTW!!!) You can click on the below link and it will take you to my donation page. http://www.active.com/donate/2009wwmsw/JShimp2
A cool thing about walking...is that it is helping me to fall in love with this town/state I live in. I have recently discovered a green way that runs right through our town and it rus right along the river....at points it s breathtaking and a great place to meditation and just breathe (which I haven't been able to do in quite some time). The other cool thing is that there is art all along this trail....so not only do I have to snow peaked mountains, wild birds and beautiful river to look at during my walk...I get to appreciate the art as well. It is really quite a lovely place to spend time. I will have to take picture to show all of you...although I don't know if my photography skills will do it justice. ;o)
The other thing the walk is doing...is helping me to shed these pounds I have put on during my depression....which were contributing to my depression. I was feeling like I was never going to be able to lose weight and was going to go back to my pre-surgery weight. I have put on 30 pounds since my lowest weight :o( (I know....) but, honestly I really only want to lose 20...because my lowest weight was a little too low for me. I think I look better with a few curves. ;o) Anyway, 20 pounds...I can lose that. No problem. That's not really that much weight. It's not like the 160 I have already lost. I just need to eat right and exercise...which I am doing now.
I actually found an online calorie tracker called MyPlate that seems pretty good. The only gripe I have about it is that there is no diary...so I can't write about how I was feeling when I eat something....to better identify emotional eating.
Okay, time to go for my walk.....and then I am going to one of my bosses house for a BBQ. Fun stuff!!! :o)
Have agreat day everyone!!
