Time to dust this puppy off and start writing

So I did something kinda crazy last week.  To be honest it's really not all that crazy. It is a dream I have had for at least 5 years and decided to close my eyes, hold my breath and just click "submit"  What was I clicking on you ask? It was the entry form of the MS150 Colorado bike ride. Yep, I'm doing it.  Not only am I doing it...but I am a person WITH MS, who is doing it.  I think that is pretty cool. Why in the world would I want to do such a thing, and more importantly why would I want to put myself through something like that.  Well, the answer is really very simple.  Because I can. :o)

Once the pride and excitement had worn off...the fear had really started to set in. Oh crap, what in the world have I gotten myself into? Can I *really* do this? What if I fail? Or worse, what if I fall off my bike and get hurt. What if I don't have this in me. Maybe I should just drop out now and save myself the embarrassment.

First step, get a bike. So the research starts. Then, the scary part go to the bike store and decide on a bike. So a little bit of history about me and why this was so hard for me.  I was a fat girl..I still am kinda a fat girl. But inside I will always be a fat girl even though really, I think there is a hardcore athlete in there somewhere as well. Well, when I go to places for athletes like a bike store and put myself out there....the fat girl shows up and is super intimated.

Unfortunately, the first bike store I went to was the prefect mix of intimidation and bully.  It was almost too much. The salesperson was trying to talk me out of the ride and basically told me I was not only unprepared physically but it was HUGE undertaking and that I should not be entering into this lightly.  Um, hello I am here aren't I? The ride isn't tomorrow...I do have 12 weeks to train and prepare. Isn't that enough time? Yes I do have cellulite, yes, it's probably been 10 years since I've been on a bike, Yes, I am completely unprepared at this moment...but you don't know me.  You don't know what I have done mentally to prepare...and am now ready to do physically to prepare.  Did he not realize how hard it was to even walk into the store and ask for help?

So I left, with him still telling me I was crazy and that he has been riding for 20 years and would never even think about doing such a ride.

Hmm.....okay.

Now I had a lot to think about. What if he was right and I really couldn't do this.  Maybe I should just give up.  It's so much safer in this place...then to branch out and try something new anyway. I'm not really an athlete anyway....am I? Why do I always want to be one?

So, the next morning I volunteered at an event sponsored by the National MS society for the newly diagnosed. I was a peer with MS who would lead one of the break out support groups to answer questions and just help out right now, when things are so scary.  It was a GREAT event.  I didn't even think I would get so much out of it. I felt for them, and remembered how it felt to get that diagnoses and think my life is over. It would never be the same and it would certainly never be as good. Ever. I now had MS.  But all of that is so untrue, I am more fit, stronger, more powerful and so much more of a person than I was before MS and I have MS to thank for that. As much as I don't want to be thankful I have this disease, I kinda am.  It has given me a gift that I don't think I would have received any other way. The gift of carpe diem. Live for the moment, go out and get what you want now.  Life is not forever and it is for the asking. Live the life you want now.

With this new found strength and inspiration, I stopped into a small bike store I passed on the way to the meeting. I figured what the heck....I'll give it one more try.  I walked in trying to hold my head and chest high, but still pretty terrified and said I wanted to look at road bikes for a ride I am doing. The guy, Mike was nice and walked with me over to the bikes, started giving his sales pitch and talked to me like a person...even more...like the athlete I wanted to become and not the fat girl. It was wonderful.  He asked if I wanted to go for a test ride, I didn't.  The other shop owner had me terrified that I would fall as soon as I got on the bike.  but,I took a deep breath and said, um...okay. I asked him if I could just ride around the parking lot, (secretly, or not so secretly terrified to be alone with the bike)  He said, no, go ahead take it.  There is a bike trail 3 block away...go ride on that...it's a great day and you should take it for a nice long ride to really get a feel for the bike. Um, 3 blocks....um....a long ride...um...are you sure? At this point a cute old russian couple had just come back from renting bikes and the older man said to me, yes, bike trail is nice, we just there, you go. Enjoy. Um, well, okay.  

So, I started peddeling out of the parking lot thinking for sure I would fall at any moment, but wait...this was easy. Not only was it easy it was enjoyable. Oh, but don't enjoy yourself or get distracted, concentrate, this is a very sophisticated road bike. You could fall at any moment.

peddle.....Peddle...Zip...Zoom.

Forget it! This is fun and I am going FAST!! Weeeeee......

What in the world was that other guy talking about, I can so do this.  Not only can I do this...I can rock this! Wow! The wind in my face the speed...it is WONDERFUL!

Finally after riding around the bike trail for a while I turned around and went back to the bike shop, with a HUGE grin on my face. The guy asked me how I liked it. I said it was awesome, I LOVED this bike. He said, Okay...but you should probably ride a few more to be sure.

So I did...all were awesome in their own way. I decided that I should go to a few more bike stores armed with this new knowledge and confidence and see which brand/bike I liked best.

I did and ran into one more jerk, but I wasn't having any part of his biases and insecurities, I AM doing this and I NEED a good bike to do it...so get out of my way and show me some bikes. He did and eventually lightened up. :o)

But, all day nothing felt as comfortable as one of the bikes at that first store...and honestly I was so thankful to them for giving me my wings. I went back there and bought my latest love, Ruby. She is absolutely beautiful and I feel so lucky to ave found her.  We are going to have such adventures together. Here is a picture of her during our first ride together.

and a close up of her awesome carbon fiber frame, I love that she isn't shiny and pretty like most bikes, but has a little bit of an edge and her own unique beauty: