I am going to be very brave and post a picture of me before I had the surgery....usually I am a VERY private person...but I want everyone to know where I started....and I will hopefully post pictures along my journey so you (and I) can see how far I have gone.
So, here is my pre-op picture, it was taken about a year ago. (so I might have been a little heavier than this on the day of my surgery) but, after seeing this picture, I cried....I was so upset at how I looked, especially my stomach....arms...face, ug, everything! Anyways, here it is.
Kay, so here I am err....5 weeks after my surgery. Wow, what a journey it has been so far...wondering what the next few months will bring.
First for the business, I have lost 35 pounds, dropped 4 sizes and feel SOOOO much better.
It has been an adjustment and it definitely hasn't been easy. I now realize just how addicted to food I was. It realy has been so crazy. I still "want" all of my favorite foods, the things that are not good for me...and I should not be having...like chocolate, bread (I really want bread), any kind of candy or sweets. But, I have been a good girl and haven't succomed to the temptations.
Some days are easier than others..some days I just cry and wonder what the hell I have done to my body....I almost feel like frankenstein. A freak and cut up inside and like I will never fit in or belong. Other days, especially when I try on something that I haven't been able to fit into for a while is too big for me...I feel great and don't doubt my decision for one minute. Luckily for me, the latter days are becomming more frequent. :o)
One thing that I need to do, and I know it will make me feel MUCH better is to start exercising. For some reason, I am really having a hard time fitting that in....but before this surgery, I loved to exercise..It was just painful because of my knees and all of the weight on my joints. So, my goal is to start a program. Actually on my to-do list every morning is to go to the rec. center down the street and start exercising....but...alas..I haven't made it there yet. I will...I need to....I owe it to myself. Seriously.
Another thing I am preparing myself for is the emotional isues of losing weight and being skinny....it is already scaring me. (I know, I know...strange) but true. I think I will need to go
see a councelor...or talk to someone about it...because I know it is because of those issues that I am over weight and the way I am....and I don't want to be like this again....ever!
Well, it's late and I am getting sleepy....but I will be back soon. ;o)
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