ho-hum

Well, I think I have officially hit a plateau. Depressing as it is.... Oh well, at least I know what the problem is...I need to exercise.

Good news is, I think I have the exercise situation figured out. Here's the thing, there are two clubs I could go to here (actually, there are a lot more...but two I would consider) one is the rec center. It's a nice place, but there are ALOT of kids there, and their weight room is very small, I almost feel cramped and on stage in their weight room, bottom line...I just don't feel comfortable.

But, there is the YMCA, they have two huge weight rooms, I feel very comfortable there..they also have a few more classes I would like to take, one being a class called moon tide (a water aerobics class for full figured women) and a weight training class for women (a class designed to help women determine a appropriate weight training routine and to help them feel comfortable in the weight room) I am actually excited about both classes.....the problem with the YMCA you ask? Well, it's more money, about 200 dollars more a year. But, really, if I used it more....it would be worth the extra money..right?

I think so.....I've all but convinced myself that, that is exactly what I am going to do.

On other health news, I have been feeling okay...kinda run down, but I think it's due to the horrible period I am having right now. It is probably the second worst one I have ever had...as far as heaviness. The worst was my miscarriage....of course. I am hoping however that it is almost finished....really...I am done. I am hoping it is due to the stress of having surgery and that they will go back to being on the lighter side.

Well, I think I'm going to go get a sugar free pop cycle.....more to come later.

On to a skinnier me!

I am going to be very brave and post a picture of me before I had the surgery....usually I am a VERY private person...but I want everyone to know where I started....and I will hopefully post pictures along my journey so you (and I) can see how far I have gone.


So, here is my pre-op picture, it was taken about a year ago. (so I might have been a little heavier than this on the day of my surgery) but, after seeing this picture, I cried....I was so upset at how I looked, especially my stomach....arms...face, ug, everything! Anyways, here it is.






Kay, so here I am err....5 weeks after my surgery. Wow, what a journey it has been so far...wondering what the next few months will bring.

First for the business, I have lost 35 pounds, dropped 4 sizes and feel SOOOO much better.

It has been an adjustment and it definitely hasn't been easy. I now realize just how addicted to food I was. It realy has been so crazy. I still "want" all of my favorite foods, the things that are not good for me...and I should not be having...like chocolate, bread (I really want bread), any kind of candy or sweets. But, I have been a good girl and haven't succomed to the temptations.

Some days are easier than others..some days I just cry and wonder what the hell I have done to my body....I almost feel like frankenstein. A freak and cut up inside and like I will never fit in or belong. Other days, especially when I try on something that I haven't been able to fit into for a while is too big for me...I feel great and don't doubt my decision for one minute. Luckily for me, the latter days are becomming more frequent. :o)

One thing that I need to do, and I know it will make me feel MUCH better is to start exercising. For some reason, I am really having a hard time fitting that in....but before this surgery, I loved to exercise..It was just painful because of my knees and all of the weight on my joints. So, my goal is to start a program. Actually on my to-do list every morning is to go to the rec. center down the street and start exercising....but...alas..I haven't made it there yet. I will...I need to....I owe it to myself. Seriously.

Another thing I am preparing myself for is the emotional isues of losing weight and being skinny....it is already scaring me. (I know, I know...strange) but true. I think I will need to go
see a councelor...or talk to someone about it...because I know it is because of those issues that I am over weight and the way I am....and I don't want to be like this again....ever!

Well, it's late and I am getting sleepy....but I will be back soon. ;o)